How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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