the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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