I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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