how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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