How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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