Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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