She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
