And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
two words: eviction party
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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