Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
