I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
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I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
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I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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