Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
