So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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