you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
