Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
