At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
