your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
