Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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