Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize