what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
