i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
