gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
