As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it's great music for shaving your balls
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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