OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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