If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
