THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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