Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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