she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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