If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
