Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
