It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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