Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
operation harelip BJ is a go
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
