I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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