either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
