She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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