Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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