My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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