I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
