Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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