Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My ATM looks so different sober.
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I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
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This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet