your thong is hanging out like whoa
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story