By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid