Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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