Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
