the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize