she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
