you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
