You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
