Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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