someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
where are you?
Hypothermia
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
