I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
