his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
