my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
