I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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