The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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