It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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