We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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