Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
