i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I would ride that face into the sunset
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
