I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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