**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
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see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
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I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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