can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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