she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
