Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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