Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
