Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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