It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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